I had an epiphany yesterday.
For a long time, I told myself that I am working towards a goal. I have a remote part-time “day job” that pays the bills, and I am working on my content on the side.
But then I asked myself the question,
“What am I waiting for?”
I opened up my Moleskine and wrote down: “to quit my day job and start doing this full-time.”
Ok. But why can’t I do this full-time right now? I have time. I have money. I have a following that’s growing. What am I really waiting for?
I couldn’t find an answer. And I realized I was bullshitting myself.
I was waiting for the “right moment”. (It won’t ever come).
I can tell myself all the stories about “not having enough money” or waiting until my following grows to 1,000 or 2,000 on Substack or 10,000 on Medium, but the truth is: I am merely procrastinating.
Because when I achieve all those conditions, I’ll come up with some other excuse. I’ll say, “OK, now I want to have X amount in savings,” and so on, so forth…
The sad truth is that most people spend their whole lives doing just that: waiting.
They graduate from college, get a high-paying job at an investment bank, and start waiting.
Then they marry. Then they have kids. And then they buy a house, a TV set, and two cars. Now the waiting is even more reasonable than it was before. It’s rational.
And so they wait until waiting turns into regret.
The epiphany I had was that we (and by “we” I mean all creative people) are constantly seeking justification for the inability to pursue our dreams.
And this is exactly what I was doing for many months now: I was creating a lot of content, alright, but not even close to my full capacity. (More like 70%).
I know I want to be a full-time writer and podcaster, but I am still holding myself back.
I am taking on additional freelance projects because that’s simple. Understandable. Easy. It doesn’t require taking a risk or holding my breath.
It doesn’t require making the jump while admitting that “this might not work.” But this is exactly what separates people who live their best lives from those that simply wait for decades.
So – I implore you, I beg you to ask yourself, “What are you waiting for?”
Not in the motivational sense, as in Nike’s slogan, “Just do it!” – but in the most literal sense.
What. Are. You. Waiting. For.
Write it down.
It’s good to know what’s holding you back from pursuing your dreams. It’s refreshing to look that bastard in the eye and try to imagine that it’s not real. Maybe it isn’t there, and your fear just came up with it? You know, to hinder you from pursuing your dreams.
And as for me, I am done waiting.
I am not going to quit my job or the projects I am working on to make money. That would be too easy. The idea that I can’t pursue my dreams because I have a “job” is an elaborate lie my anxious mind is telling me. You don’t need to sell your house or do something crazy to start living on your terms – leave that drama for the fiction writers and business journalists.
Instead, I am going to pursue my dreams. Right now.
I know who I want to be. And I am not waiting anymore to become that.
Further reading from me:
There Are No More ‘Starving Artists’ (Once you build an audience, you have a career.)
This Is Why People With Big Egos Can’t Create Art (They don’t have their first fucking times.)
Why Patience Matters More Than Hustling (‘You can’t overwork tasks that need time.’)
Soon We’ll Be Creating Content For a Living (Because working full-time is a recipe for disaster.)